15% of one’s financial success is often attributed to their technical knowledge while 85% is due to their skill in human engineering, their personality, and their ability to lead.
Combine both of them and you have the ability to create, lead, earn and impact in a way that harvests huge results.
Your ability to deal with people will ultimately determine your success. Therefore, consider with me for a moment, if you have responsibility or desire to:
- Lead a team
- Impact your team
- Start a company
- Lead a company
- Work with customers or clients
- Develop a business
All of the above require more than just knowledge about a product, process or even your USP. You must have the ability to influence and lead people.
As a business development coach and trainer, I often describe leadership as follows: ‘Leadership is the ability to lead others to places where they could not have gone without you’.
It’s part of human behavior to want to know that you are important, listened to, and understood. Therefore, if you want to gain the extra 85% in your ability to connect with others, you need to understand and practice the skill of being likeable.
To read an earlier blog where I share about 5 principles and practices of connecting with others click HERE
The three following areas will show you how you can become instantly likeable and someone that everybody will want to connect with.
1. Show Appreciation.
When you become likeable it is easier to lead people. Become unlikable, people will run a mile from you! Be appreciative and you will become appreciated.
Don’t fall into the trap of becoming interesting. Rather, be interested in and focus on others around you. Be genuinely and sincerely interested and appreciate others and you will quickly become a very likeable person.
2. Become a name pleaser.
We love to hear the sound of our name. Well, most of the time, unless it is a headmaster or parent finding you out for something that you’ve done wrong!
Develop a practice of the following:
- Always remember the other person’s name.
- Use their name between 5 to 7 times in a conversation.
- Always finish the conversation by recalling their name.
Do this and you will set yourself apart from many others. As a result, you will, through the power of their name, become very impressive and likeable to them.
Make this your connecting practice and you will win by connecting with others.
Imagine for a moment that you are at a busy networking gathering meeting many people. You meet about 8 people in an hour for conversation but one of them refers to you by the golden rule, your name. Not only once, but 7 times.
I would suggest to you that after the event, the one who would have had the biggest impact upon you was the one who used your name 7 times. More impactful than a fancy story or a glossy expensive business card!
3. Become a great hearer.
There’s a big difference between listening and hearing. We all love to be heard and understood, for others to see things the way we see things.
The fine art of becoming a great hearer will often open many doors for you. How many times have you listened to somebody and not really heard what they were really trying to communicate?
On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being great, how would you rate yourself with your ability to not just listen but to hear from others?
When I want someone to know that I have really heard from them, I will say something like this to them. It was great to hear your story, your view, your impression, etc.
Winning by Connecting
We live in a busy world where we tend to communicate more than we actually listen. However, we must become masters at the ability to be a great hearer. Remember this – Talking is not connecting!
Becoming a great hearer will have a huge effect on our 85%, so be sure to listen to and hear what people are saying to you. A good listener and hearer will want to encourage others to talk about themselves. Encourage people to literally talk their heart out. This is connecting at its best. When this type of connection happens, you connect and lead. Therefore, winning by connecting.
I often note that my clients long to enjoy greater success leading their team or company, engaging their staff, or increasing sales. Your ability to connect will determine your success in leading others and the impact you bring. The key to influence is the fine art of connecting. You can enjoy greater success by developing a process for winning by connecting.